What are The Main Types of Love?
Introduction
We all seem to care about romantic love only so much that we think we have only one way to describe love. The love we feel for our friends is definitely not the same love we feel for our family or our first serious romantic partner. Today, we are always preoccupied with what can be defined as romantic love, and we always end up missing out on some of the more stable types of love.
We have all been in romantic relationships, and in one way or another we have discovered that romantic love does not always feel warm and good inside. We experience problems in relationships, yet we say love makes the world go round or love is sweet. Probably you have come across people saying relationships are hard. This is not true, it’s just that people don’t know how to be in a relationship simply because they don’t understand the different types of love.
Let’s explore the main types of love.
- Eros or Erotic Love
Eros is named after the Greek god of love and fertility. This love is usually associated with the expression of sexual passion and desire. The Greeks considered Eros love to be frightening and dangerous since they associated with loss of control. This love arouses romantic and sexual feelings. The Greeks thought that this love was so powerful and would lead to the primal impulse to procreate.
The ancient Greeks believed that when misguided, Eros can be misused, abused and indulged in leading to impulsive acts and broken hearts. This love burns hot and burns out quickly. Even in modern times, Eros is believed to be centred on the selfish aspects of love, such as physical pleasure and personal infatuation.
- Philia or Affectionate Love
Philia is also friendship. It is actually the kind of love that you feel for your friends. This love was highly valued by the ancient Greeks and they thought it to be better than eros because it was considered as the love between equals.
According to Plato physical attraction was not necessary for love. Philia is actually platonic love there is no physical attraction nor sexual acts.
According to Aristotle, Philia is actually dispassionate virtuous love which does not have the intensity of sexual attraction. It is that feeling of loyalty among friends and the sense of sacrifice for your group or pack.
- Agape or Unconditional Love
Agape is sometimes referred to as universal love or even altruism. It is the love that we all have and we give it freely to others regardless of our relationship to them. With agape love, you don’t need to even have met the other person before, but you still want to help them, do good deeds towards them or cooperate with them.
Christians would describe agape love as a type of spiritual love. They believe that God feels agape love for them and that Jesus exhibited this type of love for all humans that’s why he was tortured and sacrificed so that humans could be forgiven for their sins. He was selfless for the happiness of others.
- Storge or Familiar Love
Storge is also known as familiar love, and it closes resembles philia because it does not involve physical attraction. Storge is the natural affection between parents and their children. This love is actually a strong bond between parents and their children, the familiarity between people and kinship.
Storge can also present among childhood friends and can later be shared as adults. This love can sometimes be an obstacle to our spiritual paths, especially if your family or friends do not support your journey.
- Philautia or Self-love
Philautia is self-love, and the ancient Greeks believed that in order to love and care for others, we must learn to love and care for ourselves. Self-love is not the kind of self-obsession or unhealthy vanity which based on personal gain and fame, selfishness and narcissism.
Self-love is healthy. This is the kind of love that you need first in order to be able to love and receive love from other people. Self-love is a necessity for a healthy relationship. Remember you cannot give what you don’t have. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t truly love others, can you?
In order to be truly happy, you need to have unconditional love for yourself. Once you learn to love and understand yourself you will be able to find spiritual freedom of yourself.
- Pragma or Enduring Love
Pragma is mature love, one that has developed over time. The ancient Greeks described this love as enduring love. This is the kind of love that you will find among old married couples who have been together since they were very young and they still feel strongly connected to each other. This kind of love can also be found in friendships that have endured for many years.
Unfortunately, this kind of love is rare to find, especially in these current times. These days, people spend a lot of time and energy trying to find love but lack the patience to learn how to maintain it or watch it grow.
Pragma requires effort from both sides whereby people learn how to compromise, demonstrate patience and tolerance to see the relationship work.
- Ludus or Playful Love
The Greeks described Ludus as a playful form of love. This type of love has some attributes of eros and it can be best defined as infatuation between people who are very young in love. In other words, it is the affection between young lovers.
Everyone who has been in love before has felt this kind of love in the early stages of falling in love with someone or the early stages of romance. This is the feeling you get when you see your love anywhere. This love makes you feel alive excited about everything. Playful love is often lost in long-term relationships. It helps keep your love interesting and exciting in the early stages of your love.
- Mania or Obsessives Love
Mania love is not a good type of love, because it is that type of love that leads you into obsessiveness, some type of madness, jealousy or even anger. When you have mania love, you lack a balance between eros and ludus.
Those with mania love have poor self-esteem, and this love is like a means of rescuing themselves from low self-esteem. That kind of person wants to love and be loved in order to find a sense of self-value. This leads them to become very possessive and jealous lovers, who desperately need their partners. If one partner does not reciprocate with the same kind of mania love many issues will prevail in the relationship. This type of love can be destructive in some cases if it is not kept under control.
Conclusion
We are all different and we may feel different types of love, but thanks to the ancient Greeks that now we know and understand the different types of love in our lives. We now know that romantic love is not the only definition of love. We must consider and look for other greater types of love like philia ad agape love. We should try to cultivate ludus and have the patience to watch love to develop and grow in our relationships. We should avoid mania for it can be destructive. We all should put in the effort to find pragma in our relationships.